I was talking with a young man that has taken on the role of “man of the house.” Man of the house is a difficult role for us experienced folks; this little guy is in middle school and it has proven to be a tough task. I asked him, in reference to the lime tree outside the room we were in, who would be better at pruning and caring for that tree: me, the therapist or a gardener.
It hurt my feelings a little that he didn’t even have to think before he replied, “a gardener.”
This kid doesn’t even know about the vibrant, massive rose bush I demolished last week in my back yard. It is now a pile of debris and a few upright twigs, so what. That’s what I meant to do, but I digress.
Little-man of the house and I talked about the gardener being better suited to care for the tree because he is trained and has tons of experience with trees. I shouldn’t be messing with trees any more than the gardener should be messing with families in crisis. Gardening is a gardener’s job, helping people is mine.
Little-man of the house’s job should be jumping off stuff, throwing rocks at stuff and seeing who can spit the farthest and fart the loudest. Fortunately, the lime tree analogy helped and this little boy and he decided to honor his calling. He decided to be 70 percent kid and only 30 percent man of the house. He’s going in the right direction.
I have been coming back to this theme over and over since my meeting with Little-man of the house. The theme being: operating in the role that one is suited to.
I am talking about being where you are supposed to be, doing what you are supposed to do and not operating waaaaaaaaay out of the scope of your practice.
I notice that the more out of step people are with their calling, disposition and lot in life the more issues they have. I am not talking about one’s profession, but that might be a part of it for some folks.
I am talking about doing more of what you like.
I am talking about doing more of what you are good at.
I am talking about investing more time in people and situations that energize you.
I am talking about steering your own ship in the direction of contentment.
I am also talking about not falling into the trap of Little-man of the house… taking on things that aren’t for you to take on. The world has enough martyrs.
Don’t start the internal excuse machine, blog reader, it’s unbecoming. You can find some time. Go be you, you crazy kids!
I love you.